How I Learned to Trust my Body and Love Food Again
Nearly every person I have encountered in both my business and personal life, has a story when it comes to their relationship with food and their body. I will begin this blog by telling you a bit about my story and how I have healed my relationship to food and my body along the way.
At age 14, my family relocated from Washington to California (One of many moves my family made). This massive life change that occurred during my early teens is a big part of what triggered my eating disorder. I was living in a new place — one that placed a greater emphasis on physical appearance and thinness, and I was changing, as I grew into a woman-sized body.
I began heavily restricting my food intake and started to fear fat, as that was the macronutrient being demonized at the time. I started eating “fat free” and “diet” everything and began step aerobics all with the goal of shrinking myself to fit in. For the following 6-7 years, I hopped from one ridiculous diet to the next with my group of girlfriends who all did the same. One week we’d be trying the ground turkey with stewed tomatoes and canned beets diet and the next we’d move on to something equally as restrictive and unappetizing.
At age 22, I decided that I wanted more out of life than the path I was headed down in California. I packed my bags and bought a one way ticket to Hawaii with hopes of a better future. I had originally planned on finishing my degree in psychology, but I quickly made a new friend who successfully convinced me that culinary school would be a blast.
This is when I really started to enjoy food again rather than trying to so hard limit it. In culinary school, I had to face my fear of eating fat. I needed to refine my palate and re-develop an appreciation for the beauty and fulfillment found in creating a delicious meal. While this helped me move away from the constant pursuit of dieting temporarily, it really didn’t get to the heart of the issue. Even though I was no longer overtly pursuing weight loss, I shifted my focus towards the obsessive pursuit of “health and wellness.”
I continued on this train for many years — trying out everything from the blood type diet to vegetarianism to the paleo diet. I had convinced myself that it wasn’t disordered because it was all in the name of pursuing “health,” when in reality, I was still thinking about food constantly.
My obsession with “health” lead me to pursue my certificate in Functional Nutritional Therapy. As I began learning about how incredible our bodies truly are and how food can be used to heal and nourish the body, my relationship to food began to shift. I stopped obsessing over what I “should and shouldn’t” eat, and instead started to learn how to listen to my body and honor its internal cues. For the first time, I started asking myself : “What do I really want to eat right now? What sounds exciting and delicious?”. I stopped adhering to any strict rules around food and started exploring what actually tasted good and made me feel great as well.
I’ve finally reached a place in my life where food is something that brings me joy. I learned what does and doesn’t work for my body by paying attention to how I felt rather than blindly following a diet that someone else had prescribed. I now feel confident in my ability to make the best decisions for myself, which is incredibly empowering. I now trust my body when I am craving a big beet salad with fresh produce and sprouted nuts, and I equally trust my body when I am craving nachos.
Healing my relationship to food and in turn my body, has been an invaluable asset, which is why I feel so passionate about helping others reach this place of confidence. I truly love helping people learn what works best for THEIR body, because every body is unique. I help my clients reach a place where they are able to discover what foods help them not only feel their best physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. I work with my clients in a gentle and holistic approach, rather than inducing shame and guilt around food, because I know that working from a place of compassion yields better results.